The Fall of Eddie

theseloadedlips @ 2006-06-04T12:38:00

2006-06-04T16:38:45Z

has anyone else noticed that shakira does a mighty fine robot in that hips don't lie video? it's a robot. shut up, colombians. it's a robot.

it's been a while since i've written in here. since it's time to clean the old apartamento, i think this is a good time to write an update instead. lots of things have happened since my last update, thus giving me a reason to ROCK YO WORLD WIT ONE OF DEM ENTRIES, DOGGY.

the new apartment is fabulous. absolutely fabulous. fabulous? *sucks dick*

yeah. ryan came to visit with crystal. fun times. we also didn't want to kill each other this time. sweet. let me buy his xbox 360 from him. can't stop playing it. fun times.

work is work. I thought The Right Stuff in marietta was pretty rough. i wish i had the crew from marietta at my store sometimes, but I've grown to appreciate my employees for what they are.

I want to try writing in this thing again. meh. NIce talking to you friends.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-06-02T21:16:00

2006-06-03T01:16:24Z

LEAVE MY PUSSY ALONE!

theseloadedlips @ 2006-04-01T17:45:00

2006-04-01T22:45:44Z

i got some wigglys an some woo woos

2006-03-29T16:12:47Z

i would marry it if i could

(why does my girlfriend keep writing about smoothies in my livejournal?)

theseloadedlips @ 2006-03-16T20:03:00

2006-03-17T01:03:59Z

hoRCHATA

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-28T12:22:00

2006-02-28T17:30:04Z

another day i suppose. i'm sitting here with 8 minutes left until i have to start the "getting ready for work" ritual. nevermind, it's seven minutes.

I find myself to be enjoying the small things much more, and not really worrying so much about everyone else. everyone around me seems to be happy in their own (sometimes twisted) way, and that's fine. all daisies and sugar cubes. or something my grandma would say when everything's cool. i don't know.

although original spring break plans fell through, spring break is shaping up to be as amazing as, well, every other day i seem to be living through. if you want to hang out, eddie's got some time off next week.

things with andrea are great. it's hard to break it down much more than that, for telling you just how great my life is going would...surely shatter your conception of how great my life could ever really go. wrap your head around that one. there's something to be said about someone that can make you cry with laughter while you're being pummeled in the face with balloons repeatedly. <3 i love the girl.

work, however, is proving to be a tiring effort, more and more every day. the amount of work i have to do is only met by the sheer amount of apathy among my co-workers. I'm almost positive that when I do, in fact, leave for the new store, nobody will care, and that's a little depressing. Oh well. c'est la vie, i suppose.

I was playing around on my phone, and downloaded a Nelly ringtone. that grillz song. I had to have it. For comedy's sake. I didn't know what to set it as, and for the last couple of days, I have been using it as my alarm. It's a very violent disturbance during slumber (or whatever else you may be doing). I'm not sure if it's healthy to wake up to a song that makes me want to dance at such an ungodly hour. surely, dancing is not allowed at 545 in the morning while your partner is asleep on the other side of the bed.

also, missing is my mp3 player. if anyone happens to see it on the side of the road, hitching a ride north to canada, or sucking a dick in a back alley for coke money...please send it home. daddy misses her.

and now, i only have two minutes left until the ritual begins. now begins the signing off. who knows when i'll write again, as free time spent on the computer is measured only by the miniscule glimme of a chance that i actually get time that is, in fact, wholly free. talk to you later, kids. :0

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-23T13:32:00

2006-02-23T18:32:37Z

i'm thinking about selling all of my ps2 stuff (system, games, etc) anyone interested?

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-21T18:12:00

2006-02-21T23:12:17Z

so i called zales customer service. they put me on hold while they transferred me to the order department. baillamos was playing. i let the rhythm take me on over to some lady named benjamin...not even kidding...and she cancelled the lame order. i love talking to real people.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-20T11:34:00

2006-02-20T16:35:16Z

andrea's so great.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-19T17:22:00

2006-02-19T22:23:51Z

so, aside from the fact that i know one of you pricks will read this, pass this message along:

one more snide remark, one more little aside, one more rude lj post i hear about, one more anything that i don't like - emily's getting a one way ticket to knowledgeville on the adultery express. i'm a minute away from being an atomic bomb on your fucking life.

PUBLIC ENTRY TO ALL WOMEN OF THE WORLD

2006-02-15T21:45:39Z

the next time your boyfriend breaks up with you and finds a new (and better) girlfriend, please do not accuse him of cheating. especially, if you yourself are, in fact, a cheating WHORE.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-07T15:34:00

2006-02-07T20:34:39Z

happy birthday cassie. (as if you read this anymore)

anyway

a strange thing happened today:

I opened up my e-mail, and I saw that I had a new message from Mike Birbiglia, teling me to go get his new cd.

So I did.

I went to Best Buy, and their comedy section was atrocious. There was a bunch of gospel cds mixed in amongs larry the cable guy and daniel tosh. That simply would not do. i find the nearest blue shirt wearing supernerd to help me, and when i ask him, i do not say:

"i am looking for the new mike birbiglia cd and bonus dvd. could you help me in my search?"

instead, i cock my head to the side and say

"the new mike birbiglia cd slash dvd?"

i said the slash.

i said it.

i said slash.

can you imagine how retarded i felt slash do feel right now question mark

it apostrophe s almost like i regressed back to middle school period i feel like such a fucking idiot period period period

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-05T06:50:00

2006-02-05T11:51:34Z

so the hell week has been pretty rough. i don't even think i have the energy to document what has come/will come to pass in this week that will surely test the very fiber of my being. suffice to say, it's been rough. andrea makes it better though. i think we played mario for like...hours...so many hours that i lost count.

i wasn't really clockwatching anyway though, so maybe it wasn't that long.

being at work on a sunday morning is LAME. at least sundays at a gas station get progressively worse, and the morning shift is the least of all lame shifts.

but, still pretty lame, in and of itself.

for instance, i've typed this entire livejournal entry on the computer in the office, and not one single customer has bothered me yet.

papa like.

but i guess i'll go ahead and do the cliche "life is good" update. Have you ever noticed that when someone doesn't write in their web journal, they always come back with a "well, life has been good, so good in fact that I forgot all about my livejournal." i've never seen anyone come back to livejournal with a poor report. "life sucks, i got hit by a car, and that's why i couldn't update my livejournal. they had to amputate my fingers. i'm using text to speech to let all of my livejournal friends that i'm alive (sort of, please kill me.)" It just doesn't happen. Probably because text to speech wouldn't make parentheses. I realize I'm indulging in a pipe dream, but we have the technology to make tts use parentheses. come on people.

but, i digress. life actually is amazing at this point. I'm happier than I do believe I've ever been. Andrea likes to monopolize my time away from you (my adoring fans) and i'm perfectly happy with that. She can have all my time. you fuckers can starve. starve for my delicious words. sweet, chocolate covered, creme filled words. words so good they make your face numb upon simply reading them. i know, that's how i feel about your livejournals too. some of you make my private parts tingle too.

i'm so tired.

and, I ate a donut. what what.

holla.

The Glory of Facebook

2006-02-03T23:32:50Z

So, I realized that the facebook is nothing but a way to keep in touch of high school friends...

...that you don't give a shit about.

sorry if that offends anyone (no i'm not) but in reality, I didn't even care about half of the people on my facebook friends list even when I was in high school. What on earth do they expect me to do? buy this chick a present? send her an e-card? not unless i find a blue mountain card that says "who the fuck cares about you?"

facebook sucks.

but I fell into the same trap that everyone else fell into. the trap that we were all lured into, thinking we would reconnect with our long lost childhood buddies, but in the grand scheme of things, the reason we don't hang out with our childhood playmates is because they're all DOUCHEBAGS. Living, breathing, yakking, annoying, douchebags that you wouldn't stop to ask for the time if you were on a busy street.

thanks facebook, for reconnecting me with johnny lacoure. now he won't stop iming me.

all i wanted to do was check out hot high school chicks, and now i have every nerd from college station to san marcos iming me about that time freshman year when we went to church camp.

*sigh*

there's a reason i only have one texan phone number in my cell phone, and it's not because we met up again on facebook. it's because the kid's not a douche.

i think i might hate facebook.

CROSS-POSTED TO MYSPACE! WHERE I CAN MEET TOTAL STRANGERS!

:(

theseloadedlips @ 2006-02-02T08:54:00

2006-02-02T13:54:32Z

Dear blog,

I miss you. I know I haven't had time to write in you lately, and that my internet has been down, but I promise to allocate some time to give you my sweet tender words soon.

well, i'm not doing anything now.

edit:// I decided that this post was too funny for my regular friends on livejournal. However, for 13.99/mo. you can access Premium Eddie Content^TM, specially designed to electrify your senses.

or, i just couldn't think of anything to write.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-30T00:02:00

2006-01-30T05:02:27Z

what an amazing weekend. just...amazing. all of it.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-25T15:15:00

2006-01-25T20:14:59Z

i seriously have nothing to do.

well, it's not that i have nothing to do, it's just that i have no desire to do anything.

i'll call nick.

yeah.

this weekend is going to be so.spectacular.

heart to ground...i am in love...

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-25T14:29:00

2006-01-25T19:29:10Z

Tranzliate this Shiznit to Jive!

Click the Spinn'n Rim Beotch!

www.myYearbook.com -- Created
by 2 high school students to kick myspace's ass

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-23T02:32:00

2006-01-23T07:33:34Z

self-delusion is pretty funny.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-20T13:54:00

2006-01-20T18:54:42Z

this hasn't been that super of a day.

i feel like i'm sitting in neutral. like, there's something i should be doing right now, but i'm stuck in this stalemate.

it's weird.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-19T15:40:00

2006-01-19T20:41:39Z

andrea is the coolest person i know. i love her so much. im so glad shes my girlfriend. i had the best best cuban sandwich today. it was tasty to the MAXX. i rubbed it on my testicles. yum.

edit://yeah, i think she hit the nail on the head.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-17T21:38:00

2006-01-18T02:39:06Z

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/football/nfl/specials/playoffs/2005/01/17/bc.fbn.heart.stoppingst.ap/index.html

read that and marvel about how lame humans are.

theseloadedlips @ 2006-01-16T13:21:00

2006-01-16T18:21:06Z

love is civilization.

tender moment REMIX

2006-01-12T17:27:47Z

okay, for today's moment, i just want you guys to read this:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060112/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_taiwan_pig;_ylt=AtlFgLITIxmEMYFNXuHkfNLtiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTA5aHJvMDdwBHNlYwN5bmNhdA--

and then i want you to think about how unhappy you're gong to be when you get a ham and swiss market fresh from arby's, and that shit is green.

just think about it.

this is a tender moment to spend with yourself...and your own thoughts...

next step: make him not smell like a fucking pig.

today's tender moment

2006-01-10T02:07:35Z

so, today's moment is a personal one, seeing as how it's a startling personal revelation.

be gentle, and note the timestamp. that's where the funny is.

From left to right: Me, Jim Norton, and Ryan "Sweet Thing" Smith

theseloadedlips (8:59:38 PM): i will not be turned into a pussy
theseloadedlips (8:59:43 PM): i already am a pussy, aren't i?
theseloadedlips (8:59:50 PM): i'm a total pussy.

oh, and...